Day 11: The Real Starting Point?

Starting point is imperative.

To be clear on one's starting point is true awareness, and that determines where everything is headed.

My starting point in this specific post is to CLARIFY my starting point within my blogging, writing, and working through my mind-consciousness system.

Yesterday I was talking to my buddy Gian from Desteni and he helped me to become very clear, I am starting to see that in fact my starting point and direction within and as my writing has still been just ego.

My ego was shocked.

I hit a massive cognition.

Gian supported me to the awareness of the deeper layers of my starting point.

My starting point has been sex and money with a specific interplay of believing that if I get enough money then my sex life will be satisfying. Therefore my starting point has been f***ed by money, and by my own ignorance...

So now I breathe and I write it out... and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not seen the truth of my starting point until now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see and realize that my starting point until now has been sex and money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand the magnitude by which sex has shaped my desire to make more money, in this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come from the starting point of seeking more sex, better sex, satisfying sex, continual sex, and that has been the addiction and enslavement of myself, through my actions and my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate money, focus on money, be obsessed with money, and build businesses and devote my life to money, from the starting point of the belief that if and when I get 'enough' money, I will guarantee my sex life will be that of my desires stated above

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see the reality of the sex and money interplay on the subconscious and unconscious levels within myself and others, as these two driving forces have been the driving forces within me that I have refused to see, until now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in my obsession and the years of my life devoted to sex and money, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see the reality of how sex and money drive my life, like a slave-driver whipping me along, demanding that I do these actions, think these thoughts, behave in these ways, all to earn money and sex so I may be temporarily satisfied, COMPLETELY abdicating responsibility for doing what actually matters in the world to create a world that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sex and money will solve my problems, when in reality, writing and going through DIP (or DIP Lite for beginners), then applying these changes in real physical reality is the answer to my problems, as through the writing and the prompts through the course and the work with the buddies, and the practical daily living this and proving my integrity to what I do in the course to what I do in my Life, that is how I give myself the answers to my problems

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that anyone else outside of myself can actually solve my problems

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see the simplicity of what dedication to writing and self-forgiveness can in fact do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see the obvious, of the impulse and addiction and obsession with sex and money, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repress these impulses deep into the subconscious, perpetuating me acting and living on autopilot

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to do the writing necessary to purify my starting point to be one and equal with Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself that I have not yet fully done the writing necessary to purify my starting point to be one and equal with Life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the simplicity of this process, which includes finding the key charged memories, and writing them out, then specifically doing self-forgiveness on them until I reach the point where the memory is neutralized and 'cleared'

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to effectively move through process, to thus eradicate the self-interest of sex and money, and to redefine sex and money to be components of Life, in a way that is supportive of Life, instead of the current abusive reality that sex and money exist as, for which I am responsible

When and as I notice myself thinking about sex, I stop and I breathe

I realize that sex is a necessary part of Life and can indeed be Life giving, when and as I purify my starting point within sex, which is done through effective Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application, and Living it in the real world

When and as I notice myself thinking about money, I stop and I breathe

I realize that money is a tool that may be used to support all of Life, and in this it is necessary to purify my starting point within money, which is done through effective Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application, and Living it in the real world

When and as I notice myself experiencing backchat and the subconscious programming within myself, I stop and I breathe

I realize that my process is reaching deeper levels, and this is a wonderful opportunity to write even more effectively and sound out even more effectively the Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application, so that I may Self-Honestly get to the point of Self-Perfection through Self-Creation, which is a process of walking each of these points out in my mind and into the physical, where the real proof of my process will be known as I will be a living example for others and the proof will be measurable by my actions and the results of my actions in real physical reality

Therefore...

I commit myself to work through every single memory around sex and write it out until there is no charge

I commit myself to work through every single memory around money and write it out until there is no charge

I commit myself to work through every single memory of my starting points, which includes my subconscious and unconscious programming

I commit myself to daily writing from the starting point of actually getting to the starting point of Life

I commit myself to being gentle with myself

I commit myself to writing with specificity and thoroughness

I commit myself to humbly yet confidently walking this process as I establish Self-Trust and I prove to myself and to others that I am in fact worthy of trust, as I show up consistently, with dedication and purpose to getting to the real starting point of Life

I commit myself to keep breathing

Day 10: Seeing and Neutralizing Conflict

Yesterday I went for a walk around the lake, it's about an 80 minute walk. Usually I put in headphones and listen to content.

This time, about halfway around the lake my phone suddenly died.

So I used the walk to really just clear my mind, and started working through self-forgiveness statements in my mind.

I became aware of the abundance of thought manifestations within my conscious mind and subconscious narratives playing out.

So I went on a self-forgiveness rampage. Anything and everything that came up, I just went at it for a good 40 minutes.

I became aware of a trend of the conflicting views I've had of myself, my mission, my Life.

It was fascinating to 'see' the points as if they were in front of me. I found myself using my hands and really getting into it.

I also realized "SOUNDING" the Self-Forgiveness, not just saying it and rushing it, but literally from my body and my flesh, letting the words come through, living them and expressing each point articulately, really allowed me to understand the power of using Self-Forgiveness to neutralize the conflicts I've held within my mind-consciousness system.

After various sprints of rampaging Self-Forgiveness, I would sound the self-awareness and self-commitment statements as well, which I noticed more conflict.

I am still developing self-trust that I can make a commitment statement and prove to myself it will be true.

This is a point to be continued in my process, and I know as I continue 'clearing' the conflict and the conscious/subconscious/unconscious, I will get clear in my self-honesty and my self-perfection process through the entire Self-Corrective Application, so in this.....

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have refused to sound self-forgiveness authentically, as me, truly letting go and forgiving myself of my acceptances and allowances, and honestly, thoroughly correcting myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have refused to live the understanding that 'the slow way is the short way'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate conflicting points within me, desiring to rush and 'instantly' grow, yet judging myself for knowing that patience is required, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see the polarities in my mind that make up my mind-consciousness system, to once and for all work through these points so I may be Here, living as Life, as a Living Example for myself and for all Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see the benefit of the Self-Forgiveness rampage, in working through the points of my mind-consciousness system effectively, in this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to fully trust myself in my process of working through these points and trusting myself to do it effectively, until now

When and as I notice myself experiencing conflict with and as my process of walking Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application, I stop and I breathe

I realize that breath by breath, 1+1, I am establishing myself Here in the Physical as Life, and my Self Honesty IS emerging, and will continue to emerge, breath by breath

I realize that the mind is constructed on polarities and conflict/friction, so as I develop Self-Awareness, I will have even more realization of these polarities until they are thoroughly walked out into the physical and my mind becomes merely a tool of Life, nothing more and nothing less.

I realize that I am literally writing and sounding myself to freedom, and I must do this for my Self first. In honoring my self and respecting my self, doing the hard work on my self, I will stand as a living example for others and I will be able to actually support others, as I have walked the process further along.

I realize that it is all of us or none of us that must be Life, and I realize there is more digging and investigating necessary to understand much of the Desteni principles

I commit myself to work through every single facet of my mind consciousness system, however long it takes

I commit myself to perfect myself and create as Life

I commit myself to sounding authentic Self-Forgiveness, for ME, for my journey to Life, and if this benefits others, then OK, but even if it doesn't directly benefit them, it doesn't really matter, as it really is Self First, then in my Self-Honesty I will know when I can then support others, for now there is a long ways to go

I commit myself to prove to myself that all of my commitment statements are legitimate and honest and coming true, because I will prove to myself that I daily walk this process, breath by breath, as a Living Example of Life

I commit myself to do what is best for all Life, even if it's ugly, painful, cringey, uncomfortable. Whatever it takes, to understand what is best, and then Live what is best, for Self and for all Life.

Whoever is reading this, I dare you to begin the Self-Forgiveness rampage, just go at it, and SOUND it from your body, not just your head/mind.

Day 9: From Mind to Physical

I just became aware how much is going on in my mind. I've been observing the quarantine, staying in doors most of the time, only to go out for groceries or walks.

Things have become more virtual. In this there is a new 'normal' that's emerging.

Overall I've been reading books, listening to videos, using a lot of TechnoTutor and absorbing tons of information. I've increased my processing ability, but there's a missing piece here....

Consistent writing.

Consistently getting my mind OUT and into the physical.

This is a missing piece to me... I've noticed the benefits in the past of daily consistent writing, then I fell off, just went back into 'absorb' mode, which is comfortable to me, it's easy to read a lot of books and watch youtube videos and journal.

But the output, the active writing OUT of what's inside, that is key.

My head is like a chamber and right now there are so many sounds resonating, I wake up and there are about 300 different unique thoughts that run through my mind.

Let's work through this now...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate responsibility for my writing until it got to this point where my thoughts and resonance is so loud in my brain that I can barely have stillness and peace of mind, even if I sit still and just breathe, the thoughts are rampant LOL. I am literally laughing out loud at myself right now, with just how many freaking thoughts and the amplitude of the thoughts.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize the simplicity of the 'self corrective application' cycle, that is Live, Forgive, Become Aware, Commit (thus correct) and Live again. I have been going ALL OUT on Living, but the cycle has to now reach a new level of homeostasis and balance, to allow the real Living to take place, as living without Self-Corrective Application is an abomination of true Living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not having written daily, not seeing the blessing as this current state I am in, of having a profuse abundance of thoughts in my brain/being that are flying around, most of them are actually very empowering and very important thoughts about building my businesses, supporting others, seeing what a world that is best actually looks like through the realm of education, money and what communal support looks like, HOWEVER, I forgive myself that I have not been accepting and allowing myself to realize that this specific vantage point here, now, is in fact one of the most valuable cross-reference-worthy points I have ever experienced, as I now know what it feels like to have an excessive imbalance of input, without enough output/processing of the mind-consciousness-system, where I wake up with 300 thoughts flying around.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to write even more specifically, thoroughly and extensively to work out these points in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush through writing self forgiveness, not realizing that rushing is literally missing the point of writing self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have 'too much' in my mind and have not taken seriously the process of writing it out, writing myself to freedom, so I can stand as a living example for the entire world, as Life

When and as I notice myself having tons of thoughts and feeling imbalanced, I stop and I breathe

I realize that I have the tool of writing always available to me

Writing is the process of getting my mind out of my mind and into the physical and it feels good to get this out, because then the real me may emerge that is able to direct myself with clarity and certainty, as my beingness actually knows what is best, and I don't have to waste time, energy and mind chatter on second guessing myself, rather I am clear and I direct myself

I commit myself to writing self-forgiveness and self-corrective application every day, even multiple times a day, even extensively for hours and hours if that is what is best, because writing self-forgiveness is the tool that grants myself freedom, it is how I free myself from the mind and self-interest, and thus live as LIFE.

I commit myself to write even more thoroughly, as writing self-forgiveness allows me to support myself and others even more effectively

I commit myself to remember this cross-reference point, of waking up day after day with racing thoughts and ideas, as this had been the result of me not writing consistently, so it is actually a gift I am giving myself, to realize that that is not best, to not have an 'outlet' I consistently utilize and respect as the proper 'outflowing' of the mind consciousness system to bring it into the physical, and thus establish myself Here in the physical, which is where I commit myself to operate from

There is a lot in my mind, and I am getting it out into the physical.

Day 8: Addicted to Production

I am a producer. I love to create. I love to make things happen. I have got great results in the World System from doing this, so it has been a reinforcing loop.

It feels good to produce. It feels good to make money. It feels good to be productive. I know I emulate my father and many others that I 'look up to' as being efficient, productive, effective and 'making things happen'.

BUT

What good is production if it is not in alignment with what is best for all Life?

Production of consequence is actually detrimental.

Production of excuses.

Production of bullshit.

Production of resistance.

That's all "being productive" but there is consequence.

Therefore...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to production, so enthralled in the act and habit of producing outcomes that I was unaware of and ignorant to the consequences I created and have continued to create

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the extent on which adrenaline, dopamine and the chemistry of my being has been a self-reinforcing cycle of production addiction at the expense of my physical body, dishonoring my physical body as a temple, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking at the reality of what I have become, being addicted to production, not even having the self-trust to understand if this is an "okay" amount of output, or if it is unsustainable

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to realize that self-trust and writing, righting myself to freedom, will in fact show me the extent to which I am producing and the consequence, whether it is best, or ought to be recalibrated, to ensure it is best for All Life, self included

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my production as being a noble cause and if it is good to be productive for the sake of being productive, as if productivity for the sake of productivity is some kind of virtue, when it is NOT in it's own right a noble or worthy cause

Life is what is worthy.

Life is what matters.

To produce with and as Life, that is what is important

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay writing and not even see that writing is in fact productivity, the best type of productivity (at times) because it is productive for Life for me to forgive (give) myself and others Life and systems that support Life, and for me to clear out my mind from the excessive energetic flows of the productive-addictive lifestyle that has been consuming me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust the benefits of writing self forgiveness EVERY DAY, and to connect the dots, that self-writing is the missing piece of my productivity regimen, as the judgment of the productivity addiction has become apparent, the antidote of the judgment is the self-forgiveness and the self-corrective application, which now brings everything to an entirely new level

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the feelings and sensory of music, coffee, TechnoTutor, conversations, and other stimuli from my environment to be a self-fulfilling loop of addiction to production, all the while I justify it thinking it is best for all Life, which it can only be best for all Life if I remain writing in my process of my journey to Life, otherwise it is unknown the extent of the consequence I am creating through my self-fulfilling addiction to production

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind-consciousness-system and ego to feel special, that the addiction I have is to productivity, which is valuable in the world-system as opposed to an addiction to a drug or being lazy and unproductive, in this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that only through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application can I even begin to see these secret mind phenomena, like the ego feeling special for an addiction I have, and covering it up oh so covertly as an addiction to something that is 'good' and 'positive' when in reality it is not guaranteed it is even good, even if others tell me they are impressed with my 'output', in my self-honesty I owe it to myself and to all Life to be extremely clear in this point, perfectly clear, that my "addiction to production" transform to a "bias toward best production"

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to understand that a Bias Toward Best Production is an effective solution for now, of how I can understand the best form of production that I can stand in and as, as a living example of what a Life Producer does, one who is in fact capable of massive production, but from the starting point of what is best

When and as I notice myself addicted to production, I stop and I breathe

I realize that writing is an effective tool to work through the addictive tendencies to just produce for the sake of producing, not actually really being here.

I realize that the ego, and the mind movement to produce is in fact me coming from the starting point of energy, and if I do not stop and breathe, then I am just staying in the habit loop of habitual production in the energy

I realize that when I stop and I breathe, and I am here, I can in actuality direct myself to what is best, and this will take practice, self awareness, self honesty and self responsibility 

I realize that this point within me is in fact shifting and moving, and I will be tested, so I embrace the test and I smile at the test because I know that is how life works, I make the correction through writing and then the physical manifestation shows up, so I gratefully accept the test and I trust myself to be aware that the tests will continue and it is okay

I realize that my addiction to production is in fact able to shift to a Bias Toward Best Production

I commit myself to transform any and all addictive tendencies to production and creating 'value' in the world to a self-honest, self-responsible consistent starting point within me

I commit myself to come from the starting point of what is best for all Life as I continue to produce results and value in the world and the world system

I commit myself to show myself and others that production from the starting point of ego/mind/energy will accumulate consequence that is not best, and it is in our collective best interest to write out self-forgiveness and self-corrective application so that we may ensure our starting point is for what is actually producing what is best for all Life, where all of Life is considered and realized therefore we can now actually build as the world, a world that is best for all Life, day in and day out

I commit myself to stop and breathe whenever I notice that I am coming from the starting point of energy instead of just being here in my self-directive principle, realizing that WHO I AM is in fact LIFE and as LIFE I owe it to myself (we owe it to ourselves) to purify this starting point, and automate this starting point, so we may all stand as a living example and create chain reactions of doing what is best, always and in all ways

I commit myself to DIP writing and writing every single day, and I commit myself to understand who I need to become to write every day. No days off. This is a big undertaking and I know it is worth it.

I commit myself to know that it is not a choice. It is just what is required.

This is the real transformation, from addiction to production (from self-interest and mind/ego/energy).....

To the real reality now, which I will prove to myself and to everyone, of the real Bias Toward Best Production, which absolutely includes self-writing and self-corrective application EVERY DAY.

Day 7: Getting Back to Here

We have all moved into new places. We have all experienced the emotions of being in a new environment, with a new routine, new patterns, and all of the 'positive' and 'negative' thoughts/feelings/emotions with it.

We can get caught up in our mind during this process of being in a new space, instead of realizing we are Here, no matter where we physically go.

Here is some forgiveness to support with being in new places/spaces with new patterns, to enjoy the process instead of abdicating responsibility for being Here.

As always, read these aloud to bring it physical (otherwise you're reading just in the mind, which will not create real change)
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel irritation toward my routine and how I go about my day, through the spaces I inhabit, and the activities that I do, not realizing the consequence of this negative emotional attachment of irritation which hinders me from being fully Here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for taking time to acclimate and acquaint myself with new spaces, and the sequence by which I navigate time and space, not realizing the detrimental effects of my judgment and the polarities of my mind which hinder my ability to be Here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the power of stopping and breathing, and correcting myself through forgiveness and self corrective application, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the power of slowing down for the sake of being Here

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that being Here is the goal I have been and continue to be seeking, where it is already Here, I am in this space at this time, it's always been Here, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have the cognitions and realizations that this is in fact what Life is about, being Here, and forgiving the mind for the polarization, the thoughts, the energy and attachments to emotions and feelings

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to support myself and be grateful to myself for the self-directive principle I have been living, where I have been moving on to the next thing and the next thing, all the while I was missing that I am in fact Here, in this I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to align and automate the alignment of my thoughts, words and deeds, that I may always move as Life being Here, directing myself to what is best for all Life, always and in all ways

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be overwhelmed by new spaces, unfamiliarity, novelty, and in these moments of overwhelm to not remember that breath by breath I stabilize and move, in this I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to automate the best patterns and sequencing of breathing to be supportive to all Life through our ability to be Here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the energy of 'future' and 'past' and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate responsibility for the present and what is Here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live for years exerting energy and not giving myself space and time to replenish and acclimate to new places and in this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to accurately anticipate and plan what is required for effective support of myself and others, to move effectively and efficiently through transitions into new spaces and therefore perfect myself through continual self-creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my principles using the excuses and justifications that "this is new" so "I am still learning" and thus I let my principles slip and I do not do what is best and justify it because of my being in a "new space".... and all of this until Here, no further
When and as I notice myself going into my mind and feeling/emoting overwhelm, I stop and I breathe

I realize that as I acclimate to new spaces, breath will stabilize me and my preprogramming is such that I may effectively move and sequence myself into the best patterns that are supportive of all Life

Therefore I commit myself to breath

I commit myself to Life

I commit myself to designing and creating the spaces I am in to be supportive of Life

I commit myself to respect my physical body and to trust myself when I can "take a break" to replenish my energy and my physical body

I commit myself to self-perfection through self-creation no matter the environment, space or time, because I commit myself to visibly living the principles and living in alignment with what is best for all Life, always and in all ways

I commit myself to breathing through any instability

I commit myself to enjoy the process of being in new spaces 

I commit myself to enjoy moving through Life

I commit myself to continually expand as Life

I commit myself to the process of self-corrective application until we have a world that is best for all Life

I commit myself to being Here, and Living Here