Day 8: Addicted to Production

I am a producer. I love to create. I love to make things happen. I have got great results in the World System from doing this, so it has been a reinforcing loop.

It feels good to produce. It feels good to make money. It feels good to be productive. I know I emulate my father and many others that I 'look up to' as being efficient, productive, effective and 'making things happen'.

BUT

What good is production if it is not in alignment with what is best for all Life?

Production of consequence is actually detrimental.

Production of excuses.

Production of bullshit.

Production of resistance.

That's all "being productive" but there is consequence.

Therefore...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to production, so enthralled in the act and habit of producing outcomes that I was unaware of and ignorant to the consequences I created and have continued to create

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the extent on which adrenaline, dopamine and the chemistry of my being has been a self-reinforcing cycle of production addiction at the expense of my physical body, dishonoring my physical body as a temple, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking at the reality of what I have become, being addicted to production, not even having the self-trust to understand if this is an "okay" amount of output, or if it is unsustainable

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to realize that self-trust and writing, righting myself to freedom, will in fact show me the extent to which I am producing and the consequence, whether it is best, or ought to be recalibrated, to ensure it is best for All Life, self included

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my production as being a noble cause and if it is good to be productive for the sake of being productive, as if productivity for the sake of productivity is some kind of virtue, when it is NOT in it's own right a noble or worthy cause

Life is what is worthy.

Life is what matters.

To produce with and as Life, that is what is important

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay writing and not even see that writing is in fact productivity, the best type of productivity (at times) because it is productive for Life for me to forgive (give) myself and others Life and systems that support Life, and for me to clear out my mind from the excessive energetic flows of the productive-addictive lifestyle that has been consuming me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust the benefits of writing self forgiveness EVERY DAY, and to connect the dots, that self-writing is the missing piece of my productivity regimen, as the judgment of the productivity addiction has become apparent, the antidote of the judgment is the self-forgiveness and the self-corrective application, which now brings everything to an entirely new level

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the feelings and sensory of music, coffee, TechnoTutor, conversations, and other stimuli from my environment to be a self-fulfilling loop of addiction to production, all the while I justify it thinking it is best for all Life, which it can only be best for all Life if I remain writing in my process of my journey to Life, otherwise it is unknown the extent of the consequence I am creating through my self-fulfilling addiction to production

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind-consciousness-system and ego to feel special, that the addiction I have is to productivity, which is valuable in the world-system as opposed to an addiction to a drug or being lazy and unproductive, in this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that only through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application can I even begin to see these secret mind phenomena, like the ego feeling special for an addiction I have, and covering it up oh so covertly as an addiction to something that is 'good' and 'positive' when in reality it is not guaranteed it is even good, even if others tell me they are impressed with my 'output', in my self-honesty I owe it to myself and to all Life to be extremely clear in this point, perfectly clear, that my "addiction to production" transform to a "bias toward best production"

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to understand that a Bias Toward Best Production is an effective solution for now, of how I can understand the best form of production that I can stand in and as, as a living example of what a Life Producer does, one who is in fact capable of massive production, but from the starting point of what is best

When and as I notice myself addicted to production, I stop and I breathe

I realize that writing is an effective tool to work through the addictive tendencies to just produce for the sake of producing, not actually really being here.

I realize that the ego, and the mind movement to produce is in fact me coming from the starting point of energy, and if I do not stop and breathe, then I am just staying in the habit loop of habitual production in the energy

I realize that when I stop and I breathe, and I am here, I can in actuality direct myself to what is best, and this will take practice, self awareness, self honesty and self responsibility 

I realize that this point within me is in fact shifting and moving, and I will be tested, so I embrace the test and I smile at the test because I know that is how life works, I make the correction through writing and then the physical manifestation shows up, so I gratefully accept the test and I trust myself to be aware that the tests will continue and it is okay

I realize that my addiction to production is in fact able to shift to a Bias Toward Best Production

I commit myself to transform any and all addictive tendencies to production and creating 'value' in the world to a self-honest, self-responsible consistent starting point within me

I commit myself to come from the starting point of what is best for all Life as I continue to produce results and value in the world and the world system

I commit myself to show myself and others that production from the starting point of ego/mind/energy will accumulate consequence that is not best, and it is in our collective best interest to write out self-forgiveness and self-corrective application so that we may ensure our starting point is for what is actually producing what is best for all Life, where all of Life is considered and realized therefore we can now actually build as the world, a world that is best for all Life, day in and day out

I commit myself to stop and breathe whenever I notice that I am coming from the starting point of energy instead of just being here in my self-directive principle, realizing that WHO I AM is in fact LIFE and as LIFE I owe it to myself (we owe it to ourselves) to purify this starting point, and automate this starting point, so we may all stand as a living example and create chain reactions of doing what is best, always and in all ways

I commit myself to DIP writing and writing every single day, and I commit myself to understand who I need to become to write every day. No days off. This is a big undertaking and I know it is worth it.

I commit myself to know that it is not a choice. It is just what is required.

This is the real transformation, from addiction to production (from self-interest and mind/ego/energy).....

To the real reality now, which I will prove to myself and to everyone, of the real Bias Toward Best Production, which absolutely includes self-writing and self-corrective application EVERY DAY.