When I was a baby in the womb right after conception I began sucking away at the life substance of mom. The starting point of me as a baby was self-interest in that I was conceived by the physical as under the directive of consciousness, the world-system thoroughly throughout every cell of the body. For this I take full responsibility back to the origin point which was my cells coming together as me.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed, in the moment of conception, the acceptance and allowance of self-interest
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed the ignorance of anything beyond me, just straight downloading the programs of self-interest, self-survival and self-perpetuation, regardless of the the impact on others, my programs developed and automated within the womb, the very shaping and fabric of my body interlaced with self-interest as me as the fabric of the world and the world-system penetrating all of Life as consciousness parasiting/sucking life dry, this image and likeness as me originally in the womb
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate and not understand the power of Life itself as the physical, as the Living Words, where throughout time as the flesh develops, as I was birthed, grew up and through my natural learning ability of the flesh, began to understand the world around me, and began to be imprinted by the illusionary/delusionary/evil system, that the Life substance within me was still stable enough to develop and support me as the being, the physical and the mind to get to the point of age where I could comprehend responsibility and what is best for all
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to ignore the details of myself as a child and my development, wanting to ignore and avoid the extent of the abuse and the confusion that I had lived as, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that investigating the details of myself as a child will grant me gifts of understanding and insight into the nature of consciousness and character creation, which will serve me in the rewriting of Self as Best for All
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to coordinate and formulate my brain chemistry to self-interest only, so that the dopamine systems, my brain wiring and my neurochemistry were all formed in the context and understanding of self-interest above all, so that now as I walk through the firewalls of fear and discomfort, there is work to be done to even GET to a neutral point from which I can fully create, yet nonetheless this is my responsibility as Life as what I as Life have accepted and allowed, and it is a privilege and an honor to do this work
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have literally imprinted memories of self-interest as the main primary character of myself into my flesh, where all that is Life had been filtered through self-interest, so that I would take and take and take, giving just enough to ensure that my self-interest is sustained, thus fucking up my entire starting point behind giving and expressing myself, as really a con of consciousness to feed itself as consciousness, until Here no Further
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it is possible to have any other way of this journey, where I was not able to find Desteni and push myself to understand the message of Desteni until recently, where now I have found it, so what will I do with it?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that digging deeper, walking each point as patience in breath, as perfection in awareness of Self, that layer by layer I am able to remove the self-interest point and to redefine Self as Life itself, where Self IS in fact the flesh made from the dust of the Earth, literally equal and one, the only separation is the illusion of Mind that I walk through point by point in unconditional and effective self-forgiveness and self-commitment
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not investigate the consequences of abiding by self-interest only, and within this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize the harm of not working through these points as effectively and efficiently as possible, as every moment of delay is the acceptance and allowance of self-interest in this world, which is worthy of redefinition
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize the best redefinition of self-interest, where Self = All of Life, as structural resonance alignment of my inner-self with the outer-self, where interest is the accumulation of attention and breath and awareness, so that everything in the inner and outer is understood more and more, and directed to the best outcome for what is best for all in patience and perfection
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that others must go before me, that I am not good enough to walk the cutting edge of space and time as walking process, where I have all the tools I need so any acceptance and allowance of holding back is just the acceptance and allowance of the illusion of consciousness, which is actually quite simple to walk through, by breathing, standing, and standing by my forgiveness and commitments as Self as Life
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize what my real starting point as Life IS, within this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that there must always be thoughts/always be self-interest, when I now know enough to know that self-interest in its ultimate and best form is Realizing the Oneness and Equality of Life Itself and walking this breath by breath
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am able to be Here in every breath, as I walk self-forgiveness effectively every day, I use TT every day, I read self-forgiveness every day, that my mind is losing grip/consciousness is losing grip, thus Self is able to Perfect Self and become Self Here.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed the automation of staring/going into/giving into/giving my attention to the mind, and playing/hanging out/resting in the mind, within this I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to realize the simplicity of resting my attention in and as the physical, where my beingness permeates ALL of the Physical in equality and oneness as Self, thus only my mind as a tool, the real master is the Physical as Self
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize the gift of every moment, as the opportunity of building/accumulating breath/attention/awareness of and as the physical so that I become and live as an unstoppable force of nature/Life as Life where my words are Lived and Self-Expression as Who I Am is Here in every single moment to moment..
When and as I notice myself participating in the character of self-interest only, I stop and I breathe
I realize that Self-Interest Only is unacceptable, as this is the acceptance and allowance of the destruction of Life, as a parasite feeds off its host and thus itself dies..
I realize that it takes time to walk through the consequences of years of Self-Interest, yet through Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application it is possible
I realize that if all people keep living as self-interest only without waking up to this, that the world will keep being a destructive place of suffering and Hell on Earth, yet with myself and the others I work with who are walking the Journey to Life, we just need a small percentage of us getting to positions of power in the World-System to actually change the system
I realize that Self-Interest defined in the best way is the realization that Self is Life and Life itself can become the normal standard way of being and expressing Here
I realize that every moment counts, Who I am in every moment is the accounting, and every breath I take as Self-Honest Self-Awareness as Life, I am bringing Heaven to Earth as Life for Life
I realize that having children in a few years, that responsibility of supporting them to be born as Life itself, that responsibility is already Here, every action I do can have either the best consequences for my kids and for all kids/humans on Earth, or the actions I take will accumulate consequences that are not best. I am smart enough to see this and realize this. I can process information enough to realize that my daily living and the actions I take and the self-honesty and Principles that I live, the consistent application of Self in every moment matters, and this is possible and this is actually the best and most fun/exciting way to Live because the long-term benefit is better than ANYTHING ELSE possible.
Thus I commit myself to investigate and eradicate and rewrite my main character of Self-Interest Only, to patiently and perfectly walk myself into and as a Living Example of What is Best for All
I commit myself to honor Life in all forms
I commit myself to consistently Live the Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction
I commit myself to walk through any fears and programming to thus prove that I am doing what is best for ALL beyond merely self-interest.
I commit myself to do whatever it takes to support myself, my family and the entire world ALL AS MYSELF to have the best outcome for all, one step at a time
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