Day 56 - Wanting to get everything done all at once

 Wanting to get everything done all at once. 

Not sure the best pace to move.... 

Some times I have 10-15 tabs open of projects/reading/certain things I Want to do. I think that if I just clear my day, magically I will be 'done' with everything.

Yet I am never done and I am constantly evolving and taking in new information to process it for what is best...

This is a process that takes years and years, so of course it'll never be done in a day.

Rather than trying to 'load myself up' and 'perfectly stuff myself' with information, rather it is best to breathe as self-trust and Live the Self-Correction in KNOWING that I am walking my journey to Life and rewriting all of my characters/internal reality to JUST be the character that is best for all Life as Here as the Physical. 

Core memory = when I was a kid stuffing my face with milk duds and candy on Christmas while playing video games

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to attempt to load myself up with substances and images from candy/food and video games, abusing my body for the experience of evolving myself as the ‘special’ character and the ‘hedonist’ character, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand the simplicity of the self-forgiveness on this point of Pacing Myself as Life itself, where I move as Self-Directed Movement, No Energy-Chasing, just Self-Will

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to be programmed by images of fast-moving/instant-gratification/consumerism, and to have accepted and allowed this greed for more and more energy/conflict/friction to be layered into the fabric of my body, until Here no Further as I release myself from the past and walk the correction breath by breath moment by moment every day walking out the quantum mind and quantum physical every day standing as LIFE and the Life-giving system of equality and oneness as Who I Am as Self-Directive Principle, in every moment. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my ability/skill of maintaining focus, of taking on large tasks/projects and accomplishing them IS something worthy of my attention and focus and self-directiveness as this attentive power I have, and the desire I have to move efficiently and with power/force, this IS best when I come from the starting point of self-honesty, so the days where I binge-watch/listen/read content, or I do push myself to do back-to-back-to-back meetings, this IS best and this is the redefinition of self-capacity as what is best for all Life as my body and Self-Movement is able to be Here in and as the physical, moving ALL toward what is best

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can get ‘everything done all at once’ which has been the special character of my mind-consciousness system wanting to rush and be the ‘hero’ and ‘feel accomplished’, missing the real point, that ONLY physicality is what matters, thus the real change is and will continue to be verifiable, measurable, real, quantitative, and able to stand the test of time as I am doing with my big projects I work on diligently

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize the gifts of my childhood and how I would abuse my body by over-eating, by playing games, by consuming, where now I see/realize/understand that when and as I am living the word abuse now I am able to IN THE MOMENT redefine myself and Live the Words Correction and Self-Capacity as What is Best for All, thus living the self-forgiveness and the Self-Correction to thus stand and walk as Life bringing about Life-giving systems that ensure that Life is honored always and in all ways forevermore. None of my childhood will be in vain. My Life is a testament that walking the journey to Life is 100% possible and I will do everything in my power that is practical and realistic within common sense reasoning to establish the Life-Giving Systems to support all Life always and in all ways. Day after day.

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to feel incomplete if I have tabs/reading/projects ‘undone’ when I honestly need to take a break from work. In reality this process requires a bigger and more expansive view. Thus I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize/see/understand the BEST way to view/see/express the best Living Systems, where these take space and time to walk into and as physical reality, yet in my self-honesty day after day I KNOW that I am walking these, thus no anxiousness needed, no worry/concern/obsession wasted on overthinking my process and how I do things, rather I am just Here in Breath as Self-Directive Principle and my Living Principles, doing what is best always and in all ways with common sense, pushing my capacity and enjoying the process to the best of my ability for and as what is best for all Life

When and as I notice myself desiring to do ‘everything at once’ I stop and I breathe

I realize that point by point is how the change is made and lived

I realize that daily consistent application being HERE (not worrying about the bigger picture and trying to maximize everything) is actually what is most important, because when I do this task to completion as perfection, then what is HERE thus expands and my accumulation of responsibility grows and grows, thus constancy and consistency over space and time is the real focus that is best

I realize that my starting point IS what is best for all, and any sense of self-interest that is still here will be walked out through my daily consistent application.

I realize that I have now begun living the word long-term success

I realize that instant gratification is just Here as the breath, no complete overhaul of real world change will happen in a single breath, rather it is the accumulation and an understanding of WHO I AM, then living/walking this in real time moment by moment in self-honesty through every decision and every moment as who I am as Life itself

Thus

I commit myself to consistently/patiently walking my self-honest scheduling as the Real Character that is the Physical, doing what is Best to the Best of my abilities and capacity, ever expanding, ever ready for more responsibility

I commit myself to support the entire world-system to be Life-giving for all, through my point by point ability to complete tasks to perfection and then accumulate more responsibility as Life itself directing everything to what is best

I commit myself to show myself that ‘open loops’ and ‘things I want to ‘get done’’ WILL get done, I trust myself fully, and this Living as Self-Trust is impeccable and I will walk this, welcoming the tests, the challenges, as who I am will remain Here as Life