Day 57 - Observing the Bipolar Nature of Energy

BIPOLAR (meaning the two poles of energy, positive and negative, and believing that is "who I am")

I remember as a kid being sad and I didn’t know why

I remember feeling sometimes really happy and other times super sad… from this I established the bipolar nature within myself and accepted and allowed it, thus perpetuating this acceptance and allowance in the world, not yet fully sorting it out within myself where I ACT and DO what is best no matter what

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to use the phrasing ‘I am sad and I don’t know why’ as a child, and to not actually hear/see/realize/understand what I was saying, that I didn’t KNOW “why”, I didn’t UNDERSTAND, I didn’t have the words to express my emotion/energy within where I could actually ‘get it out’ and ‘express it’ and then use that information/energy to connect with others and CREATE self into a supportive being that is supported and thus able to support others, within this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow the automation of sadness then confusion then shame then suppression/repression/denial/depression, all from the one phrase ‘I am sad and I don’t know why’

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that I can slow down and stop thoughts in any moment with breathing and self-corrective application, where no thoughts/characters need to be charged up/automated/streamlined any more, and I realize this will take time yet I also realize I am making very good progress at just being Here, no thinking needed, just doing what is best.

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to from the beginning to now, not see/realize/understand that emotion is energy in motion, and this had become trapped in my body, as the words to express and release the energy from within were not part of me and properly structured/stored, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as a child, this just wasn’t possible at the time to have the understanding that vocabulary and words, properly placed in/as the flesh of my body, can allow for the flow of energy to thus release the energy effectively, which I now see/realize/understand so within and as this realization I commit myself to the direct-principled Living of Words and Directing of Energy to What is BEST for all, so that we can be Here as the Physical giving Life equally to all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in enjoyment and pity of getting pity and attention from others from my sadness, thus using sadness/emotion/grief as a construct/energy/physical expression to get something that I believed I was separate from, until Here No Further. I stand equal to and one with and as all of my emotion, all of my energy, all of my mind and characters, where now I Live the Physical Correction through walking as What is BEST for all, beyond the ups/downs of emotion believing that is who I am, into and as the Physical, as Seeing/Directing/Expressing Self as I would like to receive, where all can have the BEST and thus happiness become the base state of the human which I am learning how to do every day more and more

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my sadness as a child stemmed from feeling separate from others, that I am all ‘alone’ as my mind, failing to see/realize/understand the common sense that is oneness and equality, where we are Here as each other, supporting each other and able to create systems together to ensure that basic needs are met, where thus the following outflow consequence is feeling better, using energy for what is best, and supporting all others to have this equal and one understanding that words can be Lived and thus a Living Expression of Life Itself where ALL Life is considered and realized, this is the gift in my memories of bipolar

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not realize the bipolar ups/downs as energy is not what is best for all, and now in real time I can see/realize/understand that doing what is BEST is what is BEST, and this will feel the best, I will think the best, I will act the best, as I continuously walk my mind into the physical, one point at a time, through the emotional ups/downs as they are dismantled and thus reintegrated into and as what is best for all through my directive will, one breath one moment at a time

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to fear myself and these emotions/energies within me, within this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself as the emotions/energy/low points and also the ‘high points’ because some force that was ‘greater than me’ (which I really just did not understand emotions), until Here no Further as I realize the energy is me yet the PHYSICAL is me as well, where all of Life in and as equality and oneness is me as Self as Creator, Created and Creation, thus my SELF DIRECTIVE PRINCIPLE is ME and as I create and walk as creation, the energy/emotions/feelings are all in alignment and an expression of what is best for all Life as I define all words as what is best for all Life and I live all words as the World as the Best World/Words possible, Optimal for all equal and one in each and every breath this decision is mine, Here, Now and forevermore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad for myself that I had wasted time/energy/attention and actually automated unconscious behavior patterns around bipolar, avoiding the sadness/judging the sadness, chasing/judging the happiness/high, meanwhile the entire time I had lived just in the little bubble of my mind, which I am now seeing beyond every day more and more within and as self-honesty practicing what is best for all in patience and urgency simultaneously I know what I need to do I walk as self-trust and Here and Forevermore I am dedicated to and committed to the Living Realization of Life as What is Best for All Life, Equal and One, Here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget and thus not act on/internalize the realization that facing problems/issues/activities head on, even if they feel bad/negative, ends up ALWAYS being best because I am strengthening my directive will to face things straight on and do what is best, so over time, I accumulate more and more responsibility and WHO I AM can be trusted as Life to do what is best for all Life, not just best for me/my feelings/emotions, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have actually begun changing fear/anxiety/worry to what is best for all through my daily walking process, expressing myself and directing myself more and more every day

Thus

When and as I notice myself participating in the poles of energy, I stop and I breathe

When and as I see myself avoiding feeling something I stop and I breathe

I realize that I can direct all energy to what is best for all

I realize that energy/emotion is temporary and fleeting, the physical is what remains thus the physical is what matters (literally)

I realize there are gifts in my past memories and through self forgiveness I gift these gifts to myself, such as this realization that Words and Support that I am Living and continually unfolding AS, this is the solution to support people here and now, and future generations to walk the mind to the physical in equality and oneness

I realize that using TechnoTutor is essential to effectively opening up the ability to use words and ‘get out’ the emotions/energy that has been stuck and stagnant within my body

I realize that daily writing self-forgiveness is essential to effectively writing out and getting ‘out’ what is on the inside, through structured and effective writing/forgiveness/correction so that who I am is a living example of what is best and thus able to support others to walk through emotion/energy into/as the Physical 

Thus I commit myself to share DIP, I commit myself to share TT, to support others through my content, our groups, my consistent application, and to be open to new ways of expressing the best for all Support. 100% teachable, unafraid of any emotion/worry/concern, rather just breath by breath walking as what is best for all within and as Common Sense

I commit myself to embrace the hardships, the things I ‘don’t feel like doing’, and to walk through them breath by breath realizing/seeing/understanding I am gifting to myself new abilities and awareness and expansive power

I commit myself to investigate the best ways to make money to ensure basic needs are met to thus supplement and add new nutrition to my diet so that things like amino acid therapy can be known, realized, understood and integrated into process for all

I commit myself to be patient with myself, as I see/realize/understand my desire for MORENESS/happiness/excitement is not bad nor good, yet who I am within it is what matters

I commit myself to leverage any/all emotion to what is best, as my starting point is oneness and equality, principles and self-honesty, which I am committed to walking every day until the entire world sees/realizes/understands that this is 100% possible to walk as Life for Life doing what is best for all Life