Day 43 - Unexpected Stimuli

Unexpected stimuli, the reactions, and why I now welcome them....

Yesterday when making dinner with my girlfriend she dropped the spice jars 3 different times in a span of 10 minutes.

Each time it happened I reacted more, with more intensity and strength of the reaction, where it was subtle the first time, just a little change in my breath and my body tensed up,  then the second time it was more of a strong energy and I became slightly annoyed, and the third time I exclaimed out loud my reaction, followed by laughing because I knew it was a possession and that I was triggered, followed by self-forgiveness. BUT there is more to be forgiven, uncovered and then rewritten to thus change my LIVING expression, where Who I AM within the reaction is just Here as Life, within and as Principle.

I notice that the fear of reaction and the fear of stimulus is resonantly held in my body as programming in my living flesh, so this writing is the rewriting and next steps in the progression of Who I am to be thoroughly, completely resonating what is best for all LIFE and nothing less/more.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the programming within my flesh - the reactions to loud sounds - within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the programming within my flesh that are the circuits for the negative emotional energy attachment of frustration, irritation, annoyance and criticism of the stimulus and really of myself for my reaction to the stimulus as I know the reaction is not best and is not even necessary, it just requires the reprogramming/rewriting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have refused to investigate the origin point within my reaction to loud sounds, as this reaction is from the physical programming held within me, and I am resonating this ‘fear of loud sounds and the fear of the reaction to loud sounds’ UNTIL HERE NO FURTHER

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see that the loud sound is really a gift, for me to see WHO I AM in the moment and to then apply Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application as I know I CAN change, and this physical change WILL come through, it just takes time and patience and consistent application

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to realize that common sense and Self-Trust can and will continue to be Living Words within and as me, which will thus support me to take in any stimulus and process it and convert it what is best for all Life, so any loud or unexpected stimulus becomes filtered/processed through ME as who I am as the Living Flesh of Life itself as I Live in Agreement with my Principles

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to realize the origin point of reaction to loud sounds and thus fear of loud sounds comes from my childhood, where as a child I was exposed to the dropping of a pan on the kitchen floor, which startled me as it was unexpected

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to react in fear and not realize that breathing through the fear is possible to thus regulate myself, within this I forgive myself that I have failed to see that applying common sense communication is a supportive way forward, where I can understand WHY the stimulus happened, and WHAT conditions would make it probable that something like that can happen again, so I can be prepared for something like that to realistically happen again so as to not react to it, rather breathe through it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a reaction is inevitable to loud sounds, failing to see/realize/understand that through sufficient self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, the reaction can JUST be a response where Who I AM in the moment is still Here, Present as LIFE, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see/realize/understand what is required to remain Present, Here amidst any stimulus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a stimulus MUST cause a reaction, where I am limiting my understanding of the human to be just a reaction machine, simple input simple output, failing to see that the LIFE and the Directive Principle within the human CAN emerge, and it is my responsibility to thus prove this to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have ‘given in’ to the energy when it came up, instead of realizing that in the moment to moment living, I can have steady in-breath and steady out-breath where ALL stimulus are received within the context of my breath and my principles, so the stimulus can come in, yet WHO I AM in the reaction/response is LIFE and PRINCIPLE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to live as the Self-Directive Principle always and in all ways, no matter the external or internal stimulus/pulse, where the real pulse/stimulus is my breath, moment by moment, where I decide Who I Am within and as everything

When and as I notice myself receive an unexpected or loud stimulus, I stop and I breathe

When and as I notice myself in my mind/not being Here and breathing, I stop and I breathe

When and as I notice myself limiting myself to just an energetic/emotional experience, I stop and I breathe

I realize that any input from stimulus can come into the context of WHO I AM as Breath and as Life, where the stimulus is interpreted and SELF is the Directive Principle as who I am in each moment and in the aftermath of the stimulus I realize I am able to direct the situation always and in all ways to what is best for all (this will just take time and patience and consistent applied effort)

I realize that Who I AM is Life, and the practical breath by breath Living and Walking as Life is a process, where I will be tested over and over again, to prove to myself IF I am able to stand as Life, thus integrate any and all stimuli into Who I Am as Life, and to direct all of it to what is best

I realize that breath by breath awareness will serve as the platform as who I am thus any and all stimuli can be received and processed and integrated into what is best for all Life

I realize that fear of loud noises had been programmed into my living flesh

I realize that I can rewrite what is in my living flesh

I realize that unexpected stimuli and loud stimuli are a gift for me to really see Who I am in a moment without ‘preparation’, just straight up ME

I commit myself to show myself that I can breathe through any stimulus

I commit myself to show myself that I can be Here all the time

I commit myself to show myself that the next times I face an unexpected stimulus, I can breathe and be Here and WHO I AM in that moment will be clear feedback for my progress within my process and my Journey to Life

I commit myself to patiently walking my process

I commit myself to the steady, constant and consistent reprogramming of everything that I have accepted and allowed as programming in the living flesh, until only what is best for all remains

I commit myself to rid myself of any acceptance and allowance that is not best for all Life

I commit myself to support others through their reactions to unexpected stimuli and to thus Live as Life where any and all stimuli are brought into the context of what is best for all Life, and processed accordingly, thus always and in all ways visibly Living the Principles

I commit myself to welcome the experiences where I react, to thus show myself where I need to work on, and through breath, self-forgiveness and my Principles, I can and will work through anything and everything until all that remains is what is Here and what is best for all Life