Day 17 - Child's Play Energy-Generator

I suggest reading Heaven's Journey to Life and Creation's Journey to Life out loud, one (of each) per day, to understand the context of Energy-Generation, the Mind-Consciousness System and the World-System of Money

When I was a child I was obsessed with this imaginary battle in my mind

I wanted to always have this battle playing out as I glorified the winning team and the losing team, and the battle would always continue. Never finished, just participating in the battle for the sake of the battle but getting closer to victory.

This was ‘pretend play’, but I took it to extremes, for hours and weeks and years I had this fight in my mind between good and evil.

But I remember that I would let the thoughts run absolutely rampant and they had nothing to do with physical reality.

Obviously kid’s being able to play with imaginary toys and their imagination is not inherently a bad thing, but the level of obsession that I began to have with this battle, and with not being Here, there is something to that. Also that this energy I was generating through conflict was clearly not going to what was best, which would be providing basic needs for the entire world. 

I remember hating going to school or doing anything with adults/other kids, so I would use that negative energy and then project it into the positive of this imagination land of me being in a battle and me being on the team of the heroes.

I remember that I was not always one main character, and that the team I was on would sometimes have people die, as there was emotional charge to that.

Even at a young age of 8 and 9 that my mind had begun generating energy based on negative, neutral and positive emotions and feelings, and I would be consumed by this.

I remember the act of wanting to play/wrestle with my dad and pretend we were the beasts in from the game/TV show called Beast Wars... Thus began the inner war of the Beast within me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play indiscriminately by myself and battle these characters in my mind without any regard for the consequence of what I was doing, just purely participating in the energy-obsession

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the root of the energy obsession just yet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto rage/anger/destruction and have participated in negative, neutral and positive emotions through these imaginary battles in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the pattern of negative, neutral, positive energy to be embedded into the very fabric of who I am, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the pattern of negative, neutral and positive energy within and as my unconscious behavior/mannerisms, my subconscious personalities and my conscious thoughts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see that the imaginary battle in my mind was a participation in mind-energy and ego, and was equal to and one with the actual abuse/war/fighting/conflict in the world-system for which I am responsible, as I abdicated my Life Substance to being a resource for the energy to feed off of

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see that I am guilty of the entire world-system and mind-consciousness system, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I am innocent because I was just playing alone in my room, failing to accept and realize and LIVE the reality that as a physical human being/body I am literally one and equal with all physical reality, therefore my participation in the energy was NOT alone and NOT done in isolation, it was and is all equal and one with the physical. The interconnectedness of everything is real, so there is no excuse acceptable. The abuse is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the abuse of this world-system through my mind-consciousness system participation and obsession with energy-generation and conflict, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fake-innocent character in my mind - equal to and one with me - to believe that I am able to wash my hands clean of the suffering and abuse of the world because I go to church and I listen to my parents and there is a heaven where because I believe that I am ‘good enough’ that I will be allowed to exist, which COMPLETELY is an abdication of real worthiness of Life and responsibility as Life, as Life is and has been HERE and it has been and currently is being abused and I did NOTHING in real reality to change it, I only participated in compounding it and adding energy to it!!!! This is the first time I can self-honestly say I am now doing something about it and actually making progress in correcting it as now as I have begun the Self-Honest Self-Reflection process that will take YEARS to walk, but it is breath by breath, 1+1 in Self-Honesty with DAILY writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see/realize/understand that my time/energy/attention was not used for what is best, and it could have been used for doing what is actually best for all Life, which would have been using that energy/desire for conflict to a disciplined practice that would build me up as a human to become the kind of person that can Live as a Living Example where I am Life-giving and distributing resources to all Life that is in need. I was pre-programmed with the mind-consciousness system but there is no excuse to not walking this process to re-birth myself as Life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that any excuse is valid and legitimate, NONE are. There is no excuse. I am aware of the Self-Forgiveness process so I walk equal and one as Life and being Life-giving, no matter what comes up, I use Self-Honesty, Self-Reflection, Self-Corrective Application and visibly Live the principles, breath by breath, 1+1.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others in my reflection of my childhood, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to understand that my “unique” childhood experience and the programming I accepted and allowed has formed my resonance to this day which I am now in the process of structural resonance alignment to rewrite and re-right myself to living as what is best for all Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed images from the media, from toys, from culture and consumerism to all exist within and as me, accepting and allowing the harvesting of the physical body resources all for the energetic experience of the imaginary battles which are really just conflict generations that feed the mind-consciousness system an the world-system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to really investigate what the best version of child play actually looks like

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to support children through programming and standing as a Living example of what is best for all Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for delaying DIP Pro as this is really the first time in my Life that I can self-honesty say I am getting to some point of Self-Trust and Self-Perfection, and I realize this will take time and consistent daily application

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to talk more about DIP with others, as this is a process that is necessary to Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel special and a desire to be recognized for my imagination, as I believed my imagination was elaborate and special and therefore I wanted recognition for being unique/special, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am only my mind-consciousness system/imagination, completely missing the reality that I am Here as Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the temptation of and as energy and energy saturation to be the directive principle behind my actions, defying Life and deifying energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the obsession of energy accumulation and energy saturation, from the negative, neutral and positive experiences I would generate in myself as my own energy-god, to be the directive principle of my Life, completely abdicating responsibility for myself in and as the physical, equal and one with physical reality and Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly participate in the energy obsession, not realizing the consequences and not even caring about them because it felt so good and so fun to play in the ‘positive’ world of my imagination and the imaginary battles, meanwhile I was literally feeding the energy of the world-system that feeds the battles in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to realize that the mind-consciousness system and the world-system of money are equal and one, therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate Life Authority to Energy Authority throughout my entire Life, and to not have investigated the real roots and origins of this abdication and what the memories are that I am resonantly holding on to within myself, that I may identify these and release them through Self-Forgiveness, Self-Corrective application and thus live as Self-Perfection and stand as a Living Example of one who is Here, stable, equal and one with the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the past is too complex to work through and understand and effectively apply self-forgiveness to and on, and therefore truly effectively apply self-corrective application

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the past and the starting point in my Life is unable to be investigated and remembered and then corrected in such a way that the change is actually lived out in a way that is verifiable and real. The change within Self-Forgiveness is real, and I will prove the extent to which it actually changes myself and the world as I commit myself and prove to myself I can apply and write Self-Forgiveness daily. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my money and resources to participate in the world-system that produced/produces action figures like the beast wars toys that I used that were the image and likeness that I had accepted and allowed as programs within and as me as the energy-obsessed mind-consciousness system that acted out the energy-obsession with participating in battle/energy within and as me, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see the extent to which my behavior and my acceptances and allowances has directly fed the abusive mind-consciousness system and world-system of money, until Here no further

I realize that what I accept and allow within myself is thus accepted and allowed within the world-system, and I have more investigation to do into this

I realize that action figures and inner-imaginary battles with negative/neutral/positive energetic experiences are not best and must be corrected to what is best and supportive of all Life

I realize that I have wanted to get recognition and to feel special because my elaborate imagination that is really just a byproduct of the energy-obsession and abuse that I had accepted and allowed within myself

I realize that through my entire Life I had accepted and allowed the mind/energy-authority to reign supreme over the Life authority

I realize that by me writing Self-Forgiveness and living the Self-Corrective Application, this is the first time in my Life where I can stand in and as Life authority

I realize that the memories in my childhood of what I had accepted and allowed are necessary to reflect on and investigate

I realize that breath by breath in awareness and moment by moment being Here, that that is how I walk the Structural Resonance Alignment with my buddy and with the support of others walking this process

I realize that the extent of the brainwashing and programming from this world-system through action figures and imaginary battles is massive and intricate, yet we owe it to ourselves to work it out through Self-Forgiveness and to convert it to what is best for all Life through Self-corrective application

I realize that my inner acceptances and allowances from childhood are still playing out in my current accepted and allowed reality, and thus forgiving myself for accepting and allowing the imaginary battles is an important step in process and must be LIVED as self-correction now, in and as me living the principles and standing in and as Life, equal to and one with my mind-consciousness system and the current world-money system, where I as Life Authority will direct myself and the systems to what is best, in my Self-Honesty

I commit myself to Self-Honest Self-Reflection of every aspect of my Mind-Consciousness System to correct it to what is best for all Life

I commit myself to Life

I commit myself to awareness within and as my participation within my Mind-Consciousness System and the World-System as I am aware of the interconnectedness and the conflict/energy generation

I commit myself to understand how to best focus on transforming the conflict/energy generation to what is best for all Life that is supportive of all Life

I commit myself to understand what effective parenting of children looks like where the child is able to live in and as the principles of what is best for all Life

I commit myself to establish the network and resource distribution that ensures all needs are met for all of Life within the world

I commit myself to be willing to do whatever it takes that in Self-Honesty is best for all of Life

I commit myself to thoroughly re-write the very fabric of who I am so that in all ways and always I LIVE as what is best for all Life, as a living example

I commit myself to share DIP with people in a 1 on 1 way where they understand that it really matters and is the most important process one can do to really live Here as Life