Day 35 - I Went to Self-Trust from Delay

How I went to Self-Trust from Delay

Delay can either be a wise exercise in Self-Trust and an opportunity to strengthen trust in oneself provided the delay is done in complete Self-Honesty and Self-Trust to actually direct the situation in the right time and the right way to what is best for all Life

OR - delay is a act of degrading one's' integrity, diminishing one’s Self-Trust through Self-Dishonesty, because the delay CAN be a situation where one knows it is best to just act and actuate the change necessary, but one delays and thus compounds the mind-consciousness-energy that makes it easier and easier to make excuses and blame and justify and delay in a way that is NOT best for all Life

I have realized a pattern of delay of doing what is best. It is complex as my mind will justify why I delay and give excuses. This all comes from the lacking/weakness in Self-Honesty and Self-Trust, which is developed over time through writing Self-Forgiveness and applying Self-Corrective Application within the starting point of Self-Honesty. It is a virtuous cycle of either building Self-Honest Self-Trust or eroding Self-Honesty Self-Trust.

I have noticed that my mind will race and loop on a point, of an action that I really know is best for me to do, like have a difficult conversation with an 'uncertain' outcome, and then I delay the activity and I come up with justification and excuses why the delay was acceptable, when in reality the entire STARTING POINT in the delay is what is faulty - it is the starting point of 'not feeling like it' AKA Energy-Authority, which is the abdication of Life-Authority for merely energy-authority which is an abomination of Life and an abdication of true Self-Responsibility. This delay of doing what I know is actually best is a habit that I have developed over time that must go until Here no Further

I realize the delay has been from an unclear starting point. Sometimes it is fear of what the other will say, and sometimes it is actually best within common sense to wait for the opportune time to take action, but the missing ingredient in this is SELF-HONESTY and SELF-TRUST to be able to honestly decide that the 'delay' is OK and is actually best, until the moment of actuation must occur, then in that moment I either actuate (and thus build the Self-Trust within Self-Honesty) or I delay and I 'give in' to the energy-authority and thus weaken myself as Life to be merely a fleeting energy experience. The choice is mine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay taking action when it is actually best to take the action

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to avoid facing the point head on of taking action, which within this taking action I would have benefitted from stopping the 'secret mind' and thus I would be confronted with the new outcome of that action, which is an opportunity to prove to myself I am trustworthy as Life to operate and receive feedback from my environment and direct it to what is best, thus flexing and strengthening the Self-Trust muscle I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate and not completely face the truth and express the truth of what I know to be best, and act on the truth, so within this abdication of Self-Honesty and Self-Responsibility, I forgive myself for for accepting and allowing my participating in this pattern of delaying my actions then channeling my energy into the mind-consciousness system where I do not actually take physical action, I just rehearse mental loops of how it could have gone, or what a 'better time' would be for the conversation/action to take place in physical reality, where this delay and this consequence and consequence outflow OF the delay is clearly not best as it is an erosion of Self-Honest Self-Trust that COULD have been strengthened, but I abdicated the responsibility, thus compounding consequences... until Here no Further

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to discern in each and every breath what is best, where I can stay Here breathing and doing what is best in the context of what is best, in how I act through time, and what I decide is best, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see that this Self-Trust of expression and actuation where I do not delay the activity is able to be developed through my consistent Self-Honest application where Self as Flesh expresses through Living Words and Physical Actions always and in all ways, no participation in mind-energy needed, just use of accurate thought/discernment/awareness in the context of what is best in oneness and equality as Life Authority

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to excuse my delay because I have accepted and allowed the fear expressing myself with others that they may judge me or stop liking me, when in reality that has nothing to do with what is actually best, in this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my starting point in my relationships with others to be one of energy and ‘wanting’ to be liked, which contributes to the delay of me acting, until Here no Further

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate all things and keep what is best, where it is worthy to investigate not needing to be liked - then going from there within the starting point of what is best, to then investigate within breath and awareness of what is best and to keep only what is best, where my Self-Honest Self-Trust combined with my Principles will serve as my guide

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to delay out of the excuse of judgement toward myself and others that myself and others do not approve of what I am doing, and within this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see/realize/understand that I have been participating in the character of approval seeking, seeking approval of others, which is irrelevant to what is best

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to redefine approval to what is best for all Life, where approval is the Agreement that something is in agreement with what is best within my own Self-Honesty, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see/realize/understand that Approval is an inner-awareness, where it is agreement with what is best in my own Self-Honesty, and from here that radiates outward as Life to Life in oneness and equality 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not approve of myself in who I am and what I do that it has not been what is best for all Life until now as I am Self-Honestly walking my process thus approving of myself as I am proving myself to be Trustworthy as Life, which is the only real proving that matters, as the energy-based approval has no merit to it, just real Life-Approval is what matters

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to violate the principles of doing what is best when I did not speak up or act, as it IS best to speak up within Self-Honesty and Self-Trust in the TIMING of when I do it, regardless of what others say, whether they give their approval or not, what matters is my Self-Honesty and Self-Trust, and through acting within and as Self-Honesty I develop Self-Trust, so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see that I am able to Live in agreement with the Principle of doing what is best, and any delay/hesitation in my speaking up/acting is not acceptable, but ONLY an intentional delay that is based in Self-Trust and Self-Honesty is acceptable as it comes from the starting point of common sense/discernment within the context of what is best for all Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not redefine delay in a way that is supportive of all Life, where Delay = Self-Honest Self-Trust Strengthening, where any delay is a gift to check in with Self-Honesty, then PROVE myself as the strength of my Self-Trust where I go from the initial awareness of the activity, to the actuation of activity in the best timing and I know/verify it is best when and as I Live and Breathe as Self-Honesty through the process of awareness to actuation and therefore Strengthen my Self-Trust through the completion of the actuation and the actuation outflow where the entire process comes back and feeds itself as feedback of proof that I am Self-Honest and worthy of Self-Trust as I am living in integrity with the Principles of what is best for all Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that others need more time to be able to hear me, when in reality in my Self-Honesty I know I can push others more and more, openly expressing myself as Life in and as Self-Trust, as this will get others to wake the fuck up to Life, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hinder my expression and delay my full expression, thus delay the journey of Life as the Earth’s overall Process, until Here no Further - as Delay is NOW defined as Self-Honest Self-Trust Strengthening, where my Self-Trust is dependent on the verifiable proof that I am visibly Living the Principles breath by breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the abdication of responsibility of living as Life authority, which has manifested in the delay/hesitation and the Self-mistrust, until Here no Further

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have come from the starting point of energy out of fear of how others will react in their energetic reaction, which is NOT best for all Life as that is the energy-authority, UNTIL HERE NO FURTHER as I trust myself to now do what is best always and in all ways in Self-Honesty, Self-Trust and Self-Perfection through Self-Creation, GIVING as I want to RECEIVE - Life Authority embodied and Lived breath by breath by breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see/realize/understand what real self-trust, self-honesty and self-responsibility all looks like within and as self-directive principle, walked in my day to day Life, where I am bold in my expression and leadership, and aware of this boldness and practically what it looks like, that I may stand as a Living Example to myself and to others as we strengthen our Self-Honest Self-Trust

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay conversations from the starting point of not trusting myself, failing to see/realize/understand that pushing myself to have the conversations IS best as who I become in the process of bold expression is absolutely necessary in my development and my journey, breath by breath done in Self-Awareness from the starting point of equality and oneness with all Life Here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay the Hereness that is breathing and alive - where always and in all ways I come from the starting point of awareness, always doing what is best in each and every breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see/realize/understand the trustworthiness that I am and will continue to be as Life, no hesitation needed, just Self-Honest Self-Trust breath by breath doing what is best for all Life, directing all situations and all things to what is best for all Life, thus perpetually reinforcing and strengthening my Self-Honest Self-Trust, that I may continue standing as a Living Example of what is best for all Life, always and in all ways

When and as I notice myself hesitating to speak or act (operating from Energy Authority instead of Life Authority) I stop and I breathe

I realize that I trust myself to breathe and IN A MOMENT actuate what is best

I realize I trust myself to figure it out, moment by moment, to continue supporting and directing reality to what is best for all Life time and time again until always and in all ways all of reality is operating in equality and oneness that is best for all Life in every way

I realize that the best definition of delay is the Self-Honest Self-Trust strengthening, where who I am is an accumulation of breath and the rewriting of Self as Flesh, through self-forgiveness of all of my acceptances and allowances and the Self-Honest Self-Corrective Application that is the Living of the Self-Trust where I now operate at all times and in all ways from the starting point of what is best for all Life, which I will prove to myself again and again that I will stand as Life, therefore I will prove to myself I get stronger and stronger in my Self-Honest Self-Trust, truly Living as the redefinition of Delay as Self-Honest Self-Trust Strengthening

I realize that in the process of realization of what needs to be done, that instantly I can actuate myself through Self-Trust and moving myself in the best ways, breath by breath until the situation is directed to what is best in my Self-Honesty 

I realize that I can push myself and others even more to thus establish the resonance of boldness within and as Self-Honest Self-Trust

I realize that seeking approval is unnecessary as the decision is made and who I am in this is Life, therefore Life will prevail and I TRUST MYSELF as LIFE to prevail even if the immediate environmental interaction has conflict or disagreement, what matters is ME acting in INTEGRITY, as I APPROVE of MYSELF as LIFE and that is the ONLY approval needed as I will thus prove myself as Life over and over again even if I fall I will stand as I prove myself in Life-Approval

I realize that writing does work in the rewriting of my unconscious, subconscious and conscious mind/thoughts/emotions/feelings/backchats/conversations and overall clarity of Life-expression in and as breath in every moment, and through this I realize that my Self-Honest Self-Trust continually strengthens as I apply the process of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective application

I realize that delay of writing, acting, pushing others, is ALL being transformed into my next level of Self-Trust, where I will be tested with delaying activities, yet I will breathe and in the moment direct myself in SELF HONESTY to what is best, as I can actuate what is best in a single breath

I commit myself to show myself I can actuate what is best in a single breath

I commit myself to Live as Life-Approval which is the approval of myself as Life - proving myself as Life - and thus need no other approval, as NOW all that matters is my Self-Honesty and Self-Trust in Self-Responsibility of doing what is best, all the way to the highest levels of responsibility on Earth

I commit myself to immediate actuation within common sense, Self-Honesty and Self-Trust 

I commit myself to push others to Self-Honesty and the questioning of all limitations and beliefs

I commit myself to have even deeper levels of conversation and actuation within myself and others, as through my Self-Honest Self-Trust I am bold Here as LIFE and expressive Here as LIFE

I commit myself to support myself with writing every single day and sounding self forgiveness as a tool for doing what is best and directing myself to what is best

I commit myself to stop the abuse of energy and the participation in doubt, so that all doubt and abusive energy is all transmuted and transformed from Self-Mistrust to Self-Trust once and for all, through Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Application and Visibly Living the Principles in complete 100% Self-Honest Self-Trust, strengthening more and more in each and every breath, where I realize there will be fuckups but with Self-Honesty and Self-Trust as my Starting Point - the fuck up will be integrated and transformed to what is Best for All Life forevermore

I commit myself to trust myself and continue to walk in self-awareness and self-responsibility until always and in all ways it is verifiable that I am Here and we are Here as Life doing what is best for all Life, always and in all ways forevermore