Day 36 - Gift of Growing Pains

I have noticed a pattern where each week there are a few days where my schedule is really full.

I feel a bit of overwhelm because I have to be “on” all day.

I realize though that typically by the end of the day I am quite pleased that I “push through”.

So really the bigger issue tends to be that I ‘psych’ myself out, by thinking too much into the future of what is going on and not just being Here practically directing myself to the task at hand. This is the growing pains and the discomfort, and much of the pain is unnecessary, and in reality the entire process is a gift of Self-Trust development.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is possible to ‘think my way’ into a result, when in reality there is a place for thinking, yet I have not yet fully understood it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience discomfort from ‘leveling up’ and the conflict of this discomfort, and not just rewritten myself through a breath and a sounding of a Self-Forgiveness to Self-Corrective Application sequence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that discomfort is bad and should be avoided, failing to see the benefit of the discomfort that is the strengthening of who I am and the proving to myself that I actually am standing in doing what is best for all Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I always pull through and I always end up on the other side, stronger, wiser, better, so within this I forgive myself that I have not yet rewired myself to enjoy the discomfort thoroughly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take time and space to breathe consistently throughout my day where I can support my body and honor it as the temple that it is, where I am also giving to myself as I want to receive, as I am equal to and one with Life, so this cycle of self-giving and self-receiving is equally important as me giving to others and receiving from others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush myself and attempt to over pack my schedule with activities that I do not end up completing, thus perpetuating a cycle of rushing/lacking/being behind, which is not best, as I know there is a sweet spot of output per day that I am getting closer and closer to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have failed to realize that this discomfort, this pushing, this output IS ACTUALLY BEST, so I can smile amidst the chaotic storm, knowing that who I am as Life will make it through, and the ego/energy that is not best WILL be burned away in the process, provided I continue walking in breath and Principle

When and as I notice myself experiencing discomfort of my process and growth, I stop and I breathe

I realize that this discomfort is actually the best thing, as I am developing myself on the deepest level

I realize that I am worthy of Self-Trust, and that my support system is extensive, and that there are times built into my days and weeks to reflect so I can see what is working and what is not working on a personal level

I realize that growth can and will be uncomfortable as I hit new levels, and that is OK because I can rewire myself through Self-Forgiveness, TT and my extensive support systems so that I embrace the discomfort for what is really is - Self-Trust Proof that I can and will STAND as Life

I realize that any time I am over thinking some future event, I can stop and breathe, I can take out my to-do list and/or my calendar and deal with it directly, or I can apply Self-Forgiveness in the moment, therefore I am unstoppable and my mind cannot fuck with me, my mind and this awareness of my mind-conflict is but another gift showing me where I can focus and improve myself

Therefore…

I commit myself to consistent self-reflection to see what is going well and what could be better

I commit myself to daily consistent writing

I commit myself to supporting myself and my support system as we are equally growing and we are equally able to stand as Life

I commit myself to breathe

I commit myself to continually take on more responsibilities as I grow wiser and more able as I do this

I commit myself to embrace the discomfort, to breathe and to smile